How it's done
Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken wall at a MP's house. One is from Carlisle, another is from Penrith, and the third is from Workington.
All three go with the parliamentary official to examine the fence.
The Penrith contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well," he says, "I figure the job will run about £9000: £4000 for materials, £4000 for my crew and £1000 profit for me."
The Workington contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for £7000: £3000 for materials, £3000 for my crew and £1000 profit for me."
The Carlisle contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the MP and whispers, "£17,000."
The MP, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"
The Carlisle contractor whispers back, Elliot Morley the Environment Minister has declared it flood damage "£5000 for me, £5000 for you, and we hire the guy from Workington to fix the wall."
"Done!" replies the MP.
All three go with the parliamentary official to examine the fence.
The Penrith contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well," he says, "I figure the job will run about £9000: £4000 for materials, £4000 for my crew and £1000 profit for me."
The Workington contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for £7000: £3000 for materials, £3000 for my crew and £1000 profit for me."
The Carlisle contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the MP and whispers, "£17,000."
The MP, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"
The Carlisle contractor whispers back, Elliot Morley the Environment Minister has declared it flood damage "£5000 for me, £5000 for you, and we hire the guy from Workington to fix the wall."
"Done!" replies the MP.
posted by Anoneumouse at 7:52 pm
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